Connecting with Krishna: Making Contact

Yesterday I went to work with Krishna.  He is a beautiful, very smart cat who I have been working with off and on for quite a while.  He is fearful of people other than his guardians Rebecca and Tim, but over time my connection with him has gotten closer and closer.  I have worked with him with a combination of Reiki, TTouch, and Bach Flower remedies, and have also found that interacting with him through play is another non-threatening way to connect with him. 
I hadn't seen him in a couple of months.  When I entered the apartment, he was in another room at first but Rebecca coaxed him out.  I lowered myself into a squatting type of position.  He slowly came up to me to sniff me.  I stayed very still, and if he tried to engage me in a stare, I softened my eyes and turned away a bit, so he wouldn't feel that I'm a threat.  He settled a short distance from me.
First I did some TTouches, just very gentle little circles and strokes, just a couple at a time, using a very soft paintbrush, similar to a long-handled makeup brush, that he had responded to well in the past few sessions.
Again, as he has before, he rolled around as though he had just had some catnip.  I have seen one or two other cats do this when they rub their face on the soft brush.  I'm not sure whether it is something about the smell, the texture, or what, but it seems to be comforting.  While he was rolling around, he seemed very unconcerned that he was within inches of me.  At a couple of points he stopped, his eyes getting very big and looking at me - and again, I softened my eyes and turned away so as not to lock into a stare.  This generally helps to avert him getting scared and meowing or swatting.
At that point, I began to offer him Reiki energy (of course, telling him silently that he need only take as much or as little energy as he would like) .  I was about a foot away, sitting on the floor.  As the energy began to flow, I felt him begin to pull it in, very strongly, as though he were pulling it into his body.  He relaxed, laying down with one of his rear legs stretched out, eventually laying his head down and going to sleep for a while.
After a long while, he got up, went to his bed, and curled up there.  I began to offer him Reiki again, and he was very calm, resting with his head down and his eyes closed.  I moved closer to him slowly and quietly. and began to do circular TTouches and strokes all around his head with the soft paintbrush.  He completely settled into the TTouches.
Just having this much contact with him really was a lot, but after a bit, I decided to nudge a bit further in a very gentle way, to see what could happen.  Little by little I moved my pinky finger next to where the brush was touching his skin, incorporating it into the TTouches, giving breaks every so often to allow him to process the work, and to observe what his reaction was. 
He continued to be completely at ease, just as at ease as he was with the brush.  Then, little by little, I began to TTouch him directly with my hand without the paintbrush at all. 
He remained completely relaxed, still with his head down, completely relaxing into it.  I had to continue to check in on myself too, to make sure I continued to be relaxed.  This is the most direct contact I have had with Krishna.  We felt completely in synch with each other.  I would pause every so often and take my hands off him, to see what his reaction was, and then start again.  It is really important to give breaks to the animal, and to give yourself a chance to feel what's happening and decide whether to stop or continue.  When I felt it was enough, I slowly moved my hands away and gently moved away from him.  At that point, he lifted his head up and looked at me, but not with a frozen, frightened stare - with a much softer, more relaxed look.
I was reminded once again that it is so important to let go of our expectations when we are working with an animal - to simply be in the moment with the animal ... and it is in that moment of connection that the most amazing things can happen...
Thank you Krishna - and I look forward to seeing you again this weekend :)

Emmylou and Natalia Start to Explore the Apartment

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Above, TTouching Emmylou outside the cage)

Emmylou and Natalia are two sweet kitties who I adopted from BARC Shelter (where I volunteer). They came into the shelter as ferals in December. They are getting more confident every day, but I am acclimating them to my apartment very gradually. I am using a kitty condo, which is a large multi-level cage on wheels. Lately I have started to let the girls out of the cage for play and socialization - at first for just about an hour, and now for longer periods, and sometimes a couple of periods during the day. I am keeping the door to the bedroom closed, but the door is a large screen door so they are able to see what it going on in other parts of the apartment.

They were both excited and scared to be out at first, but the excitement is increasing and the scaredness is decreasing as they get used to being out of the cage. 

It is a joy to see them tear back and forth in the apartment and leap and jump without restriction.  I have set up a little playground for them in the bedroom, with scratching post and pads, toys, a long kitty tunnel, etc.  They especially love playing in the tunnel, which has a crinkly sound to it (which scared them at first but now they are used to it) and a hole on the side in the middle of it so they can play with each other while in the tunnel.

These two love each other and it is very sweet to see them tumble and play with each other.

Below you see them on the stairs which go up to our platform bed.  They have only ventured up to the bed briefly, but I'm sure that will be explored more as they are out more.

 

After they wear each other out playing, they will stretch out on the floor, in the tunnel or in a little space under the staircase.  When they do this, I will feed them some baby food off my finger, petting and TTouching them as they lick it off.  At times they are comfortable with me TTouching them without the food, but other times they will initially move away.  The more they get used to being out of the cage, the more they are getting used to being touched outside the cage as well.  The good thing is that when they are feeling like they want to run for cover, they simply go back into the cage instead of burrowing into some tiny place in the apartment. 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emmylou is pictured below, stretching out near the chest of drawers, a little bit wondering what is going on, but curious too!

Natalia is caught in midair below as she plays.  In the background you can see the bottom of the kitty condo.

 

 

Below, I am TTouching Natalia, who is partially underneath a wavy scratching toy, which they use as a tunnel.  When she is out of the cage, often she is more comfortable being touched if she is partly in a more closed space, like this.

 

A few times I have brought them into the living room/kitchen within the condo, so they can start to get a feel for that space too, which is larger and has a lot more nooks, crannies and general busy feeling to it.  Once they are very comfortable with being out in the bedroom, I will start letting them out into this space as well, but that is a ways down the road. 

It is interesting, most often after they are back in the cage for a while again, they are very affectionate and comfortable with me and in general.  The slow, gradual approach seems to agree with them.  It is an interesting balance.  Each day I am trying to challenge them in new ways, but also want to reinforce their feeling of well-being and safety, which are of such ultimate importance.  They are teaching me so much every day!

A New Adventure Begins: Emmylou and Natalia

I haven't posted for quite a while, it has been an intense time, to say the least!  First was the adjustment to Garbanzo being gone, which has been huge, and of course I continue to miss him greatly.  I do feel him still with me in spirit, of course, and he is definitely guiding me in my next cat adventure, which began a few weeks ago.

This began sooner than I had expected, but sometimes life's twists and turns and momentum just have a pace all their own, and this adoption felt like it was just meant to be. 

Emmylou (above) and Natalia (below), formerly known as Griffin and Samantha, arrived in December 2011 at BARC shelter as feral cats.  Emmylou could not be touched at first, and Natalia was frightened but would allow petting fairly soon.  They were both quite fearful. 

I have done some earlier blog posts about these kitties, particularly Emmylou, which you can find if you search my blog for feral.  I began with a feather with Emmylou, first stroking parallel to her whiskers and down her front legs, then eventually on her head and body, then working up to touching her directly with my hands.  I started with a feather with Natalia at first as well, but soon found she was comfortable being touched directly. 

Over the past months, I worked a lot with these two, especially Emmylou, as she was more hesitant to be touched.   As they grew more comfortable, quite a few other volunteers were able to touch and pet them as well.  They are both quite gentle in nature, not aggressive at all, just timid.

When I brought these two home, I soon realized I would need to give these kitties a chance to acclimate to the apartment in a safe and gentle way.  I spoke to a couple of my friends who work a lot with feral cats and they kindly offered to lend me a kitty condo, which is a large cage with several levels, on wheels, so it can be moved around in the apartment.

This has turned out to be perfect, as the cats can be in an enclosed space larger than what they had at the shelter, with shelves that they can jump up and down on so they can get exercise.  And we can move the cage to different parts of thr apartment so that they can see them before going out to explore them.

I'm doing TTouch and Reiki with both cats every day, sometimes a very little bit at a time, other times in longer sessions.  I am also getting them to come to me by putting baby food on my finger, which they come and lick off.  As they got more comfortable with the baby food, I can pet or TTouch them as they are eating. 
Often my partner and I just sit outside of the cage, speaking to them or to each other, so they get used to having us close to them.

I began playing with them in the cage more and more, using string toys and feather toys and the like, and as they have gotten more comfortable, they now play with each other very often as well.  It has been so lovely to see them become more active and engaged, as well as more friendly.  They often will play and tumble with each other on their own, looking like kittens! 
And, the past week, we have done longer and longer play sessions with the cats outside of the cage, with the large screen door to the bedroom closed.  It is an absolute joy to see them tear around in the room and tumble and play.  And every day we are able to have more and more contact with them outside of the cage, though it will take a while to gain the same truat that they have when they are inside of the cage.  We also are using baby food to get them to come to us when they are outside of the cage, having them lick it off our fingers.  And each time I have them out of the cage, I am able to do a little more TTouch with them without them running away.
One of the lovely things about this slow and gradual acclimation is that now when they are out of the cage, they are not burrowing underneath or behind furniture, but stay out to play or rest, and go back into the cage when they want to.
Now that I've given you a hugely condensed version of what's been happening, I will try to do some more detailed ongoing blog posts to let you know what's going on as these sweet cats continue to become more acclimated...... It is such a pleasure to have them in my home,  and I feel that Garbanzo must be happy that I have taken in two ferals, being that he was feral himself :)

Garbanzo: R.I.P.

18 years ago, shortly after July 4^th, I adopted Garbanzo. We started an amazing journey together. He was my companion and teacher, and helped lead me to learning about TTouch and Reiki and how to help other animals.  Garbanzo and I had a connection unlike any that I have had.  We went through so much together and, together with my partner Jeffrey, we had such a beautiful life together.
It was with such great difficulty that we finally came to the decision a few days ago that it was time to say goodbye, but he had been on a roller coaster with hyperthyroidism and pancreatitis, and last weekend took a sharp turn for the worse.  He gave us clear signs that he had had enough, that his body was shutting down and that he would have been suffering a great deal if we did not let him go.
It has been a terrible loss, but our beautiful connection lives on, and will forever.  Following is a letter I am sending to him with my heart.

Dear Garbanzo:
It feels strange to write a eulogy for you because I know that, though you are no longer with me on the physical plane, you will be with me in spirit forever. When I close my eyes I can feel you near me, as though I'm holding you close to me, and other times I feel you literally inside my heart.  I know you are with me as I work with the animals, guiding me.
I thank you so much for all that you have taught me, and all the love that you have given to me.  I am so blessed that we were able to find each other, so honored that you trusted me enough to connect to me. 

I know you had a rough start on the streets of Brooklyn and that it was tough to trust any person.
You taught me how quiet I need to be in order to connect with a fearful animal -- how quiet and how truly in the moment, so that we can both find that beautiful moment of pure connection, where everything else in the world disappears. 
You taught me how to respect where an animal is, rather than coming to them with a pre-conceived notion of what should or shouldn't happen. 
You taught me to open my heart and feel what can happen when you truly let go of expectations - that when you can do that, more is possible than you ever dreamed of.
You taught me to be sensitive of how much time was enough contact, and how precious even those small moments can be.
You taught me to be patient and forgiving with both you and with myself.
You confirmed to me that love and understanding and flexibility of mind, along with use of many tools within this mindset, can help an animal to be able to change even very challenging behavior.
You guided me to my path of working with animals, and taught me so much about how to help them.
You brought me so much laughter, too - you are so intelligent, you always were surprising me with something new you would do, or a sign you would give me that you felt and observed every little change that would happen in our environment. 
It was so beautiful to feel how our connection developed during our life together - as you began to trust and know my touch, and then to experience how completely connected we became over time.  Though you retained your wild spirit (which I wouldn't have had you give up for the world), you were able to let your guard down with me more and more.  As I began training in TTouch and Reiki, we felt an even deeper connection, eventually feeling our energies merge in a connection of such pure love.  You knew I was coming home before I got there, and I would often feel when something was happening with you. 











I am grateful that we were able to spend so many years together, and that we were able to spend most of your last two days on earth together, sharing Reiki energy, TTouch and love, giving me a real chance to tell you how much love I have for you, and how I treasure our connection.
I love you forever, dear Garbanzo.

Connecting with Krishna, Closer and Closer

When I am working with animals, I always try to be sensitive to what they are comfortable with, and work from there.  There are times when it is good to give a little nudge so that they can try something new, but it is good to first find what makes them feel safe and at ease, rather than having a pre-conceived notion of what you would like to have happen.  What happened today may seem rather subtle to the reader, but for this cat I believe it was a huge step.

Today I went to work with Krishna, a stunning black kitty who is generally fearful of those other than his human caretakers, particularly his human "mommy" Rebecca.  However, over the time I have worked with him, we have developed a lovely connection.  He is still very shy though, so I have to be very sensitive to what he is comfortable with at any given moment.
I hadn't seen him in a while, and, as I always try to do, I began sending him Reiki energy as I was on my way there, feeling the connection with him and picturing him responding in a positive way. 
When I arrived, he came right up to me.  I slowly went down on a knee to be closer to his level, and he put his nose right on my hand.  The least movement can startle him, so I stayed very still, speaking to him in a very calm, soft voice, telling him I had missed him so much and was so happy to see him. This was the boldest greeting that I have ever received from him.  I feel so especially honored when such a shy kitty feels comfortable enough to let down their guard to connect with me.
Since our last appointment, Rebecca and Krishna had a session with my friend and colleague, Eileen Garfinkel (http://dreamsofamelia.com), who is a fantastic animal communicator.  One of the things Eileen had picked up from Krishna was that he would like Rebecca to let go of what her expectations of him were.  And it had seemed that often I have been able to achieve a closer connection with Krishna when she is not present - possibly he felt some pressure from her or maybe just was more interested in connecting with her than with me.  So we decided it would be beneficial for her to leave the apartment for at least half the session.
After she left, I sat down a few feet away from Krishna, sending him Reiki all the while.  I brought out a very soft paintbrush that he had responded to in the past, and, as he had done previously, he immediately sniffed it and then began rolling around, rubbing himself against it.  I was not even holding on to the handle of the brush, just letting him experience the brush.  In doing this, he was practically touching me, and suddenly he got scared and and hissed and swatted me and ran way from me for a minute. 
But it was just a moment for him of being scared.  He didn't run in the bedroom to hide, which is where he will go if he is very afraid.  Instead he remained in the living room, and got in his cat bed, which feels like a safe place.  I went and sat on the couch near where he was, and continued to send him Reiki energy.  I could see him start to relax, his eyes getting a bit droopy.  After a while, I sat down on the floor near him and got a bit closer.  He relaxed more and more, came out of the bed and began getting closer.  When I put out the soft brush again, he rubbed against it and rolled on his back, very comfortable and looking right at me.  So sweet!  I resisted the temptation to try to hold the other end of the brush and touch him, I just wanted him to be cozy being near me.  After this, he laid down near me and, as I continued to send Reiki, he started to lay down and put his head down.
Just a few moments after this, Rebecca returned and sat on the floor near where we were.  Krishna wanted to interact with her, so they did for a little bit, then she stopped and he came over near where I was again.  I was continually sending Reiki during this time, so again, he began to get comfortable.  I did try touching him with a couple of different paintbrushes, but I could see by his reaction that the best thing to do for this session was to continue with the Reiki energy and see what could happen.  I tried to very much keep in mind what Eileen had said about allowing Krishna to be who he was and not push him too much.  He got more and more calm and ended up laying down just inches away from me, actually facing away from me.

This felt like wonderful progress - first of all, it was amazing how close he was to me and had his guard completely down.  Also, when he is nervous, he faces me direectly and stares with huge open eyes at me, so the fact that he was comfortable facing away from me was interesting as well.  We stayed this way for quite a while, and I continued to send Reiki to him, imagining the energy relaxing him, filling him with light, releasing any worries from the past or present.  I could feel him pulling the energy from my hands. 

Sometimes when we can really let go of our expectations are when these breakthrough moments are truly able to happen.
After I ended our Reiki session and slowly stood up, Krishna was looking at me, but not with a wide-eyed fearful look - much more of a centered, grounded, relaxed presence.  It was lovely to see him feeling so at ease.
Thank you so much Krishna - you teach me every time I work with you.  Look forward to seeing you soon...

Yankee, RIP

I am constantly reminded of how special BARC shelter in Brooklyn really is.  The people who run it have huge hearts and open their hearts and doors to so many animals who would not have a chance otherwise.

Yankee was a sweet dog who arrived at BARC Shelter around last July. He stayed up in the Cat Loft (the place where I volunteer at BARC) at BARC along with the cats, a few other smaller dogs, two pigeons and Marsha the chicken.  So I had the honor and pleasure of getting to know him.

He was unable to use his front legs, apparently because he had been left for a long time with the legs tied together.  He also had a problem with his heart. 
Yet, though he had been through so much, he had such an amazing and sweet spirit that he touched all who knew him.  The staff and volunteers at the shelter spent a lot of time with him and gave him so much love.  Donations made it possible to get him a special wheelchair so it was easier for him to get around.  He could really speed around on the wheelchair, and it took pressure off the rest of his body which was trying to compensate for the front legs not working.  He generally seemed very chipper when he was in the wheelchair.
Below: Yankee in his wheelchair

Several months after he arrived, a little white poodle named Rain arrived at the shelter.  Rain is unable to use her back legs, as she was bred too many times.  Yet Rain has a sweet and spunky spirit and manages to get around very well despite her condition. 
It didn't take too long before these two animals became inextricably connected with each other, and they were near each other all the time. 


Below: Rain with Yankee

Recently, Yankee's health began to decline.  He seemed to start having more stomach upsets, and not long after that, he got kennel cough, which was very hard for him on top of his other issues.
Rain was right at his side the whole time. And Marsha the chicken, who often hung out near Yankee and Rain, often also would sat next to them at this point too, as if she knew that Yankee was not well.

Below, Yankee in the middle, Rain upper right and Marsha lower left.

And of course, the BARC staff and volunteers, who always gave much love and care to Yankee, spent time with him. During most of Yankee's time there, Colin was the Cat Loft person and did so much to help Yankee feel comfortable and happy, as well as loved.  And when Jayne took over his position recently, she did all she could as well.  And of course BARC gave him the medical care he needed, but finally there was not much more that they could do. 
During Yankee's time at the shelter, I had done quite a few TTouch or Reiki sessions with Yankee, during which time I would usually have Rain on my lap.  And when his health began to take a nose dive, I did a couple of extra-long Reiki sessions with him at that time.  I could feel he was having a very rough time of it.  His breathing was getting labored and I could feel his life force was diminishing.  But I did feel that in the moment the Reiki energy relaxed his body so that I could feel him breathing more deeply than he had before, and I could feel him really absorbing the energy.  Last Friday, when I left, though I knew he was in rough condition, he did seem more peaceful to me.  Of course, my wishful thinking was hoping somehow he could get through this.....
Saturday when I arrived at the shelter, I heard that Tony and Vinny, the shelter owners, had taken Yankee and Rain to their apartment.  And at about 2:30, sadly we were informed that Yankee had passed on. 
Everyone was so so sad, this was a huge loss.This small dog was such a huge presence in the shelter and in everyone's hearts.  And of course for Rain and some of the other animals who were close to him, it will be a huge adjustment and certainly a grieving period. 
However, of course, there was relief as well, knowing that he was no longer in pain and discomfort.  I picture him running effortlessly, with all four legs going and his ears flying in the wind. 
Thank you Yankee, for teaching us all so much about love, forgiveness and strength of spirit.  You gave us all so much.  And thank you to all who did so much for this sweet creature.

Going with the Flow with Georgie

Georgie is a gorgeous 12 yr old orange tabby kitty who I had the pleasure to meet last Sunday.  Her caretaker, Rachel, had contacted me Georgie has been vomiting just about every day for about four years.  Rachel has taken Georgie to two vets and had weeks of tests done, but nothing conclusive had been found, though she is being given a special diet because there was a possibility of her having IBD.

Apparently she is retaining some nutrition, as she maintains a healthy weight, but of course it is still worrisome to see her do this, to say the least.

Rachel consulted an animal communicator, who told her that Georgie is manifesting her issues.  Rachel has been working on her own issues as well as doing everything she can to try to help Georgie.

I told Rachel that I thought our initial appointment would be best spent working with Georgie with TTouch and showing Rachel how to do some of the TTouches, so that she would be able to do the TTouches with Georgie every day.  That way, at the very least, both their stress levels could be brought down.  Of course, what would be wonderful to see over time would be a shift in Georgie's behavior.

There are two other cats in the household, Ginger, who is Georgie's sister (also an orange tabby, and is is rather rare for orange cats to be female), and Newie, who is a 6 year old male kitty.  Ginger is the shyest of the three, and Georgie is generally very friendly with people.
Rachel had come to meet me at the bus stop, and when we entered the apartment, we discovered that both Georgie and Newie were hiding under the bed, and Ginger, who is usually shy, came out to say hello to me!  Rachel thought it could be that Georgie was resistant to letting go of her behavior, and that Newie was there to support her.  We tried to encourage her to come out from underneath the bed, but she just went further under the bed.
Going with the flow of the moment, the next thing we tried was to have Rachel leave the room, and I sat on the floor next to the bed, sending Reiki energy to Georgie (and to Newie as well, as they were right next to each other).  I could feel a very strong flow of energy coming from my hands, feeling that she was accepting the energy.  Yet at that moment she wished to remain under the bed.
After a while,  I ended the Reiki session and we decided it would be best for Rachel and me to go into the other room, where I could teach her some of the basic TTouches using the stuffed cat I had brought as a model.  I showed her a variety of the TTouches, including ones which will especially benefit her digestive system.
Rachel has a very natural feel for the TTouches, and without knowing it, had already been doing modified versions of a number of the TTouches.  So I know she will do a wonderful job with them. 
All of a sudden out of the corner of my eye I saw an orange blur go by the doorway. 
I quietly went to look, and Georgie had come out from underneath the bed!
I made sure to consciously quiet my own energy, and sat on the floor near her, first approaching her by doing a few TTouches and strokes using the back of my hand.  She started to be quite receptive to what I was doing, so I continued, but made sure to give her frequent breaks.  I found that one of the TTouches she was especially receptive to is the Abalone TTouch, which is a circular TTouch which uses the whole hand.  Since it is using a bigger surface of the hand, it can be very calming and comforting.  I did the TTouches very slowly and with a very subtle circular motion, pausing at the end of each circle and a quarter.  Hair slides were also very comforting for her. 

After a bit, Georgie went to one of her places she particularly likes, the window area pictured above, which is lovely and was flooded with light on this sunny day.  Since Georgie was responsive to the Abalone TTouch, I decided to see what she would think of TTouches done using a Jelly Scrubber.  A Jelly Scrubber is actually a horse-grooming tool, but it is also a wonderful TTouch tool.  (Linda Tellington-Jones, first developed TTouch for horses, then expanded it to include all animals, including people).  The jelly scrubber has two different surfaces, and is very flexible, so I did a version of the Abalone TTouch using the jelly scrubber, as well as doing some longer brushing strokes.  She was very comforted by this, and began leaning and rubbing into my hand.  It was lovely to see her so comfortable and at ease.  I felt completely connected with her and in synch with her energy.  After a while, I took the Jelly scrubber off my hand and also did some TTouches directly with my hand.  It felt like a lovely dance between the two of us, and felt so good with the light coming in the window.

After I finished the session with her, she began to groom herself, looking very comfortable indeed!

The following day, Rachel emailed me that all three of the cats had been very relaxed after I left.  Often after a session, either in a home or at the shelter, it seems the energy of Reiki and TTouch relaxes the atmosphere in general, as well as the animal or animals who I am specifically working with.  Thanks Rachel, Georgie, Newie and Ginger, best wishes to you all and I look forward to hearing from you.  And thank you Georgie, for reminding me to be patient and go with the flow of the moment, that things will develop and flow exactly the way they are meant to :)