From Fearful and Hiding to Joyful Cuddling and Playing: Simon and Caleb

It is an extra-special pleasure when I am able to continue to work with cats who I have worked with in a shelter after they have been adopted into a loving home.  And in this case, it was so beautiful to witness the transformation of these two dear boys from being shy and a bit scared of people to being so open and loving.

When I first met these two young kitties, who I affectionately call "the orange boys", it was at Bideawee shelter, and their names were Ticky and Tocky.  In working with them, I could tell that they were shy, but so sweet, and they were so connected with each other, I was hoping they would go to a home together.   The bigger boy, who would later be named Simon, was especially shy, but was receptive to being petted when nestled in a cozy place.  Caleb started out shy, but once you started to make contact with him, he came forward pretty readily, rubbing on my hand.

These little boys could not have had better fortune! They ended up going home with Brigid, a friend and client of my friend Eileen, who is a wonderful animal communicator, and has done cat sitting for years for Brigid.  A couple of weeks or so after their adoption, Eileen connected Brigid to me, and I began doing sessions with them in their new home.

Brigid had been starting to let the boys have the run of the apartment, not realizing that this was too overwhelming for them, especially for Simon, so I had her seclude them in the bedroom as she had initially.  Whenever introducing shy cats to a new place, it is important to keep them in one small space for a good while, til they are comfortable in that space, then let them slowly expand their territory to include another room, etc.  A bathroom is good for the first space, especially if the cat is very shy, then a bedroom might be next.

Caleb was still a bit shy initially, but soon after touching him, he would register that he enjoyed the contact, and he would start responding to it.  So I showed Brigid how to do some of the TTouches, and encouraged her to make contact with him frequently, to keep reminding him that he liked touch.

Simon was more shy.  And sometimes when feeling very shy, he would also start nervously grooming.  At times, though, he would settle in a place enough to touch him, so it was a matter of being patient and waiting til he settled pretty well in a place, like on the bed, and then gradually approach him, perhaps stroking him with the stick end of a stick toy first.  In one of my first sessions, it was not until the end of the session that he really settled, but it was so worth being patient, because when I approached him, he really settled into the TTouches and started responding to him.  I had Brigid come and sit next to me and do exactly what I was doing (gentle TTouches on the head) so that she could experience it as well and have the confidence that it could happen with the two of them. Such a beautiful moment!

Simon tended to hide under things or in edges or corners of the room.  I had Brigid block under the bed as much as possible.  But she needed to provide him with hidey spaces which were more accessible, so I had her do that at the same time, so Simon would not feel he had no place to hide.  A simple cardboard box with a towel or something cozy inside can do. I also suggested that a tunnel could be a good idea, or cozy hidey beds, and so she got these items as well.  Simon still seemed to find underneath places to hide, like under a chair, but at least these were more accessible than under the bed. 

And each week, more progress was being made.  Caleb got friendlier and friendlier, really turning into a lap cat, and Brigid slowly was able to touch Simon more. And of course, the boys are just the best of buddies, and are seen curling up with each other or playing together all the time.

The boys both love to play, so one thing that worked really well with Simon was to play with him gently with a string toy, and then bring the toy closer to me, so he would need to come in closer proximity to me. At times he would end up resting not too far from where I was.   So I would be able to stroke him a couple of times with the stick end of the toy.  I generally don't mix play energy with a petting-type thing, but in Simon's case this combination worked well.  It helped encourage Simon to come nearby in a non-threatening way.  I also told Brigid to simply sit quietly with them not even trying to touch them, just letting them get used to being near her.  One session I took her through a guided meditation that she could share with the boys. Following is a version of it.  This is similar to Reiki, but is something that anyone can do, whether trained in Reiki or not. 

I incorporated Reiki into our sessions.  Usually I let the Reiki flow throughout the session, no matter what else we might be doing, but sometimes I spent a certain amount of time with just a dedicated Reiki session.  The boys are young, so sometimes they would take a while to settle into the energy, or would relax for a while, then play for a while, etc.  But that is all good.  Reiki will go where it is needed.

As we continued to work, I saw Simon's nervous grooming less and less.

I also made flower remedies for the boys for them to take internally as well as to be sprayed in the environment.  The essences I used helped to de-stress them and to let go of some of their fears.

OK Sarah, where are the treats?

 

In the beginning I tried to work a bit with treats with the boys, but it took a while for them to be comfortable with this.  However, after their general anxiety lessened, and we experimented with a variety of treats, then they realized that they loved the treats, and loved them enough to be able to eat them around us.

So...I taught Brigid some basic clicker training, which turned out to be a great success with both of the boys.  Using the clicker and treats, we got the boys used to coming to us, and really wanting to come closer to us.  First you just click and treat to get them used to the association.  Then you can get them to come to a target.  A natural one is to offer your finger or the stick end of a stick toy, and usually naturally the cat will touch its nose to it.  Then you can use the target to help them get closer and closer to you, or to do other fun tricks.

Once the boys were comfortable with the clicker and treats, we started to pet them while they were taking the treats.  I remember one session when it seemed like things really "clicked" for Simon with this exercise, and he seemed to start enjoying the pets as much as the treats, leaning into my hand.  So beautiful to see!  The real breakthrough was to see Simon seeking out the touch and really enjoying it. 

I also showed her how to help the boys start making friends with their carriers, by working with the clicker and tossing treats for them to retrieve from inside the carriers. 

As we continued working with the boys over a few months, they kept progressing and progressing, so I kept adding in more things to do with them.  Now that Brigid could touch them both more, I taught her more of the TTouches so that she could share them with the boys.

Eventually, it was time for Brigid to just take over the process of working with them on her own, and she has done a wonderful job.  I have not seen them for a few months now, and they continue to progress.  I am so happy with how far they have been able to come, and that they continue to learn and grow with Brigid with all the love that she surrounds them with, and that they give back to her as well. 

And, shy Simon is not so shy any more! Simon now will come on her lap at times, and is doing just great, as is dear Caleb! And, both cats are very friendly with Eileen, who comes to cat sit them whenever Brigid is away. The following photo was taken by Eileen recently.  This is Simon being sooo relaxed after playing with Eileen!

Patience, love, persistence, trying different tools, not giving up.  Trying something different if one thing is not working so well.  When working with shy cats, something doesn't work one day but might work another day, and visa versa.  Keep your mind open, and you may think of a variation on what you are trying that will work better.  The cats have so much to teach us - we just need to quiet our minds enough so we can hear them:)

I wanted to say a big thank you to Brigid and the orange boys.  I have learned so much from you, and am so happy that you all are doing so well.  Thank you, Brigid, for adopting these sweet souls and for all your patience, love and care.  And for providing most of the lovely pics which are in this blogpost:) And thank you to Eileen, and of course to Bideawee, for helping make this adventure possible:)

PS. I encourage everyone with a shy, fearful or feral cat to check my recommendations for acclimating a shy cat on my website.  There are some more in-depth descriptions and links there that could be helpful for you and your cat(s).

Two New Beginnings: Finnegan and Mr. Blue

Finnegan (above) and Mr. Blue (below) are two sweet, beautiful senior kitties.

They both lived happily with Brynne til their current age of 17.  Brynne was offered a job in Singapore, so she felt it would be traumatic and hazardous to these older kitties to put them through the stress of the many-hours-long flight, plus a quarantine that would last for days.  She said this was an incredibly hard decision to make, but she decided to find a good new home (or, as it turned out, homes) for the kitties.

Finnegan went to live with Alisa and her two lovely kitties, and Mr. Blue went to live with Amy, her two (human!) children, plus three other cats. Many blessings to Alisa and Amy for opening their hearts and homes to these older kitties.  It can be difficult to find people as kind and generous as they are -- so many people would only take in a very young cat or kitten.

Through the networking power of Instagram (which also helped Brynne find Alisa, then Alisa found Amy), Alisa was referred to me and contacted me to come and help Finnegan to feel more comfortable in Alisa's home, and to help all three kitties to feel more comfortable with each other.

In my first session with Finnegan, he was still in a room separate from the other cats.  When I entered the room, he was under the couch, which is where he had been camped out for the few days he had been there.  On my way there, I had been sending Reiki to them and to the situation, offering positive energy.  I looked under the couch, let him sniff my finger and said hello to him.

To my surprise, Finnegan came right out:)

I began to do some zigzag TTouches with him, letting the Reiki flow as well.  He started being comfortable with me very quickly, walking around a bit, then coming back to me, and Alisa was able to pet him as well.  I also added in Llama TTouches (back of hand), ear slides and Abalone TTouches (circular TTouches with the whole hand) as we went along. 

I let him wander around, then come back to me as he wished. To make contact with him and give him some space, I also did some TTouches using the side of a stick from a stick toy.  He even settled enough for mouth TTouches later in the session.

It helps animals to feel more at ease when they feel that they have a choice whether to make contact or not -- when they feel that people are not forcing the issue.

He was opening up like a flower blooming, and I could feel him starting to realize that indeed he was in a safe and loving place.  I kept telling him silently that he was safe, this was his new home, that he would be taken care of and loved, and that Brynne still loved him too.  That Brynne would always love him, but that this was his new place.

Finnegan and Koda

After the session, Alisa told me how well he was doing, and soon she was integrating him with her other two cats, which has gone smoothly as well.  Her other two cats, Lily and Koda, are gentle beings, as Finnegan is, so I hadn't foreseen that would be problematic, but what surprised me was how fast the acclimation seemed to take place for all of them.

It felt like something had shifted energetically in the session, helping start this positive process in motion.  I made Bach Flower remedies for the cats, which seemed to help as well.  And I made some recommendations to help the cats become more used to each other in a gentle way, etc.

Lily, Koda and Finnegan

I have been there for a number of sessions since then, and Finnegan has made himself completely at home - he acts as if this has always been his home.  He is extremely outgoing, and, if anything, sometimes bosses the others around!  He is extremely affectionate with Alisa, as you can see from the photo below.  This is not to say that he was unhappy in his previous home, but rather, that he has embraced this new adventure.

And lately, Lily and Finnegan have become especially close with each other, as you see below.

I have been back to Alisa's several more times to work with her cats and to work with a kitty named Fig Newton who she rescued and is currently fostering.  It has been beautiful to see how well Finnegan, Lily and Koda have adjusted.  (And as for Newton, perhaps you will hear about him in a future blog post, as he has a story all his own.)

After Brynne heard about what had happened at Alisa's, she was very excited, and paid for me to do two more sessions and a round of remedies with each of the homes.  She had been concerned about the cats, and wanted them to have the best chance for all to work out well.


A couple of weeks after that, I met with Amy and all her cats:  Mr. Blue, Tracey, Lionel and Vincent.  Mr. Blue had been in a room by himself for some days, so she had started letting him out.

Amy's other cats are also very gentle, and Amy said that there had been some hissing between the cats, but nothing more than that, no fighting, etc.

When I arrived, Mr. Blue was under the couch along with Vincent, and Tracey and Lionel, who are extremely bonded with each other, were hanging out together.

I got out some treats, and was able to lure Mr. Blue out for a while.  He didn't really want to be touched, and that was fine.  I gave him a few treats along with the other cats, so everyone could get used to having something good happen in close proximity to each other.  I advised Amy to do this every day with the cats, as well as a few other strategies.  I also showed Amy about doing TTouches and using some of the tools, whenever Mr. Blue was ready for that.  Tracey is a very shy cat, so I showed her how she could help Tracey as well using TTouch. 

Mr. Blue settled again under the couch, so I just laid down on the floor near the couch and shared Reiki with him.  He clearly became more settled as we continued the session - I felt him really connecting with the energy.  I shared with him that Brynne loved him but that this was his new home, that he was safe and loved here, that this was his place, and his new family.  That everything was all right.  That I loved him too. When I finished, I thanked him for being open to Reiki and for participating in the healing process.

After the session, I heard that the cats were doing better with each other, and that Mr. Blue was becoming more comfortable in general, which was great!  Again, I believe that Reiki and TTouch helped to start a shift in the energy, and helped the cats to feel calmer and more open to the change that was happening. I made Bach remedies for the cats, which would help everyone to adjust and feel calm.

Vincent, Mr. Blue and Lionel

At the second session, Amy said Mr. Blue had been more out and about, and that things were going well.  Initially he was under the couch again, but came out quickly for treats.  And this time, I was able to do TTouches with him as he was eating the treats.  Again, I worked with the other cats (except Vincent, who was still hiding, but I believe he received the Reiki energy).  Mr. Blue went under the couch again for much of the Reiki session, but again I could feel him really connecting with the energy.  That was just where he was most comfortable in the moment.  Again, I was happy to honor his choice.

After the session, Amy said she was able to pet Mr. Blue a lot more, and not long after that, she sent me a photo of him on her lap!  He has turned into a real cuddler, and is so happy there.

And as for how Mr. Blue is getting along with the other kitties, Amy says they are all one big happy family!

  Mr. Blue and Lionel

Such a beautiful story, and I could not be more delighted at how well all is working out.  Alisa and Amy have kept in touch with Brynne, sharing with her photos and videos of how well the kitties are doing.

Thank you to all the humans and kitties involved - you are all so loving and so special.  It was an honor to be a part of this experience, and I will never forget it.

Reiki, TTouch and Play with Daisy at Bideawee Westhampton: Peacefulness to a Sensitive Cat

Daisy is a beautiful kitty at Bideawee in Westhampton.  She is friendly with people, but not so fond of other cats, so she is lucky enough to have her own room there.

Daisy wants to have connection and friendship with people, but she gets so overexcited that it can turn into overstimulated behavior, with tail twitching, sudden hissing or meowing, etc.  Some people would say this is "unpredictable" behavior, but to me it is actually expected, if you watch her very clear body language.

And I do not agree with people who think this type of behavior is set in stone and cannot change.  We cannot know what will happen, but I believe that improvement is always possible.  It is a type of behavior where one is likely to always have to be extra-mindful of the cat's body language, but I strongly believe that by sharing a calm space, we can help these animals to understand what being calm feels like.  And the more that they feel it, the more possible it can be for them to get to that place on their own.

I have been working with Daisy really slowly, and through this process and combination of Reiki, TTouch and play, we have established a lovely bond.

My cat Garbanzo had a somewhat similar pattern, though his was more extreme, as he could get very aggressive when he was in overstimulated mode.  He trained me well to learn how to stay calm and neutral, and how to go slowly and gradually, always aware of body language.

When I first met Daisy, I had worked with other cats first, so without even consciously thinking it, Reiki was flowing before I entered into the room.  I entered and sat down calmly.  Daisy ran up to me before I even sat down and started rubbing and rubbing against me.  This behavior alone made her so overstimulated that suddenly she hissed at me.  I had a wonderful toy with me ("Go Cat Cat Catcher" - basically a stick toy with a mouse on the end of a wire - most cats love it!) - so I started playing with her a bit with the toy - enough so she could get some of her energy out on the toy, but not so wildly that she got amped up even further.  At times I was able to stroke her with the stick end of the stick toy - just once or twice.  Mostly I was just sitting calmly and letting the Reiki flow.

Our first few sessions were brief, as I wanted to make sure that we had a positive interaction, and it was left at that.  With each session, Daisy responded to the Reiki more and started to recognize the calming energy.

And so after a little bit of play, I would just sit calmly, and she would end up laying right next to me, even falling asleep.

It was so relaxing in her beautiful room, with the light coming in the window.  The light from outside, the light from within both of us, the light of the Reiki energy, becoming one with the light.



At the end of our most recent session (actually part one of it!), when I ended the session and got up to go to the door (which I do gradually and calmly), Daisy came after me, as she often does, and she started getting back into a hectic mode.  I was feeling from her, "why are you leaving?  don't go! why are you leaving?".  When I end the sessions with her, I tell her that I love her always, and that I will be back, but still this is often what happens when I leave the room.

After I worked with a couple of other cats, it was getting near time for me to leave the shelter, but I really wanted to spend a few more minutes with Daisy.  I felt I had something more to share with her, and I wanted to see what would happen.

I went back in the room, letting the Reiki flow again, and she calmly settled on the floor across from where I was.  I started telling her silently, "You can always have the light in you.  You can always have the light all around you, protecting you.  I love you always, and always, and always.  Feel the light inside you, and the light all around you, protecting you." I started repeating these words, and variations, like a mantra, for a few minutes.  I may have said them quietly, in addition to silently, I am not sure.  I saw her looking so peaceful and happy and settled.  And when I got up to leave, I was still feeling these words in my head, and she stayed right where she was, at peace and very settled.

Later on, I heard from one of the shelter people that Daisy and some of the others were much calmer.  So lovely to hear!

Thank you so much, Daisy!  It is such an honor to learn from you, and to share this beautiful energy with you.  I look forward to seeing you soon:)

And thanks, as always, to the wonderful Bideawee people for all that you do for these sweet creatures. xxoo