Monk: R.I.P.: Love, Reiki, and Letting Go

 

Last Friday, I said goodbye to my dear Reiki kitty friend, Monk.

I shared many Reiki sessions with Monk since early July, as he had Chronic Renal Failure.  I had worked with him prior to this diagnosis as well.  He always enjoyed Reiki, and anticipated it more and more as he got to know me.  When he saw me, he would go jump on the bed to get ready to settle in for his session, often sitting on his person Suzanne's lap for the session.

Late May, Suzanne had called me to cat sit for Monk and his cat girlfriend Jade, and when I saw Monk, I felt so strongly that I wanted to help.  I could see that due to the kidney disease, Monk’s appetite and life force were rapidly diminishing.  I had such a strong sense that Reiki would be of help to him, not to mention that I already had a very strong bond with Monk.  So I began to do Reiki sessions with him very often - every day at times, but at least three to four times a week. 

I felt the sessions needed to be often, to continually reinforce the balance, peacefulness and sense of well-being that Reiki can bring.

We quickly saw his appetite improve from nearly zero to nearly normal, he began clearly enjoying his food again, and his energy level and general vitality improved a lot as well.  I always offer Reiki energy for the highest good, but one can never know exactly how that will play itself out. 

I was so happy to see him feeling better for what seemed to be extra time, time which we had not anticipated him having, time which I know that we all cherished him having, especially his beloved owner Suzanne.  It was such a delight to see the light back in his eyes, to see him prance along with a spring in his step, to see him comfortable and to see him with an appetite.

Monk adored his owner Suzanne, and I felt him wanting to hang on to life as long as he could. And I am glad that until last week sometime, he really was hanging in there strongly, as strongly as he could, Even though his body was frail, I felt such a strength of spirit, of love, of determination.

I treasured the sessions I spent with him.  I will never forget them.  The lovely summer days with him on my lap as I sat on the terrace with the breeze blowing, and later with him curled up on my lapas we sat on the couch.  I knew that I was walking with him on the last part of his road in this life, and it was an honor to be able to spend this time with this very special creature, to feel the very deep connection that happens with Reiki energy with him, to share the light with him.  He had such a pure heart, such pure sweetness about him.  Most often, it felt like my heart was merging with his heart, that our breathing became as one creature, that we were together in the emanating light.  And this emanating light felt like emanating, healing love, like the most pure, beautiful feeling of love that one could have for another creature.

After we began doing more of the sessions inside, sometimes Jade would curl up right next to Monk, and they would take in the energy together.

Last Wednesday, when I arrived, I felt from Monk such a strong feeling.  It was a lovely day with the sun streaming in through the window, a fall day that gives you that rather melancholy feeling of the summer ending and fall beginning. 

It was as if he were laying outside in the sun, temperature just warm and so perfect that he didn't want to move.  That he knew he would have to go soon, but he wanted to stay a little longer, a little longer.  A little longer to feel this beautiful time on earth.  That he knew his time to go was soon, but he wasn't just quite ready, that he so wanted to enjoy it a while longer.  To feel the connection with the earth, with me in the moment as my hands emanated warmth and energy, with his kitty friend Jade nearby, and most of all with his person Suzanne, who, though she was not present in body during the session, she was and is always with him. 

I felt so sad knowing that his time was near, that our time together on the earthly plane would not be much longer. 

When I left, I made sure he was comfortable, curled up on this lovely shaggy pillow, as though it were a soft form of grass that was all around him.

Thursday he settled into my lap, and it took him a while to get comfortable but then he got so comfortable there, connected with the flow of the energy.  After the session ended, I very gently placed him in one of his cozy places. 

Friday I arrived at Suzanne's place a couple of hours before the vet and his assistant were to come.  As sad as this was, this was a special and powerful time of connection with both Monk and Suzanne.  She held him gently on her lap for most of the time, while I kept the Reiki energy flowing.  I felt him become more at ease as we sat there.  So much love and light surrounded him.

I kept imagining him resting in a field of grass, and then running in a field of grass, with sunlight around him. 

A very unexpected thing happened then.  The first four or five lines of the 23rd psalm came to me, in bits and pieces.  I think it was because I was see the green pastures, then the still waters, then "he restoreth my soul".  I grew up Episcopalian, but do not really follow any particular organized religion - I am a spiritual person and keep myself open to whatever rings true to me.  But at this moment, the bits and pieces of these lines and the images especially, the feeling of being out in the grass with Monk, the feeling of the soul being restored, it all felt very healing.  I let the images and lines flow through my mind, which eventually led to the image of light all around the three of us, a calm, healing, heavenly light.  We had very quiet music playing, and the door was open to the terrace, with fresh air coming in. 

At the end, he was surrounded by such loving energy, it felt like the most gentle, peaceful exit that he could have.  Much gratitude to the kind and respectful vet and his assistant who were present and helped make this transition so gentle.  And the utmost gratitude to Suzanne, for taking Monk in as a kitten and for giving him such love and care for his whole life.  Much, much love to Monk, to Suzanne, and to Jade.  And all my sympathy.  It is such an honor to know you all and to have been a part of your lives.

There is something that I often say to an animal when I am working with him or her, and I usually say it silently.  This is something I said often to Monk (and still say in my mind), "I love you so much, and I always will."  With those words I feel that the feeling travels over time and space, a love that exists eternally.  Animals help remind us of the feeling of that love with no boundaries, that we can be connected forever no matter whether on the earthly plane or not. 

xoxoxo with love and gratitude to Monk, Suzanne, and Jade

Appreciating the Moment with Monk: Comfort, Peace, and Optimal Balance for Chronic Renal Failure, Part Two

I have been even busier than usual, so it's been hard to squeeze in time to write! 

I had been out of town for about a week after my first few sessions with him and at that point was not sure whether he would pass while I was gone, especially as his person Suzanne had texted me that he was not eating much while I was gone. 

Fortunately Monk was here on earth and ready to resume his sessions when I returned.  I have been working with him at least several times a week, sometimes more.  Since my previous post, his energy and appetite have continued to improve, which is great.  He is still a frail cat, but his life force energy feels so much stronger since I began to work with him.  And he really seems to enjoy his food, which is a huge change.  I am so happy that Suzanne is able to have more time with him.  She and Monk are so deeply connected, and have such a sweet bond with each other.

It also is interesting to see how things are evolving with his general habits.  When I first began to work with him, he wanted to be out on the terrace 24/7, but in the couple of weeks or so he has been content to be inside more of the time.  Of course, some of that is influenced by the weather, as we have been having some tropical-like rainstorms, but his need to be outside doesn't seem urgent as it was with him initially. 

He seems to really welcome my visits, and settles into the Reiki sessions with me very quickly now.  Sometimes we are completely hands-on, other times I need to have my hands maybe about 6 inches or sometimes more off his body.  I always follow his cue as to what he would like.  Quite often he will settle right in my lap or with his head resting on my leg or hand.  It feels that as we go, his body trusts me more and more, so that the energy is absorbed in an increasingly deep way. 

During a Reiki session, when things are really flowing, it feels as if my energy merges with that of the animal.  Sometimes it is as though my hands are actually inside of the animal. 

I use a lot of positive visualization at the same time I am offering him Reiki energy.  Lately, it seems his skin is irritated or itchy, as he is pulling off chunks of fur.  Apparently this is something that can happen with cats with Chronic Renal Failure.  So I imagine cool blue energy soothing his body.  I imagine I'm inside of his skin, and am feeling comfortable inside of the skin, feeling a coolness soothing from the head down to the feet.  I imagine relaxation, and see his fur growing back in the areas where he has pulled the fur off. 

I also do TTouches with him which feel like they should be soothing.  I do little hair slides going down his body, using a light touch.  I also do abalone TTouches, which are TTouches using the whole hand, to try to calm the whole body. 

Another interesting aspect of working inside with Monk is that his cat "sister" Jade is around him more and Reiki seems to be helping them to have some peaceful moments of connection.  Often Jade will curl up right next to where we are working. 

There is something so special about my time with Monk.  He is a dear, gentle little soul.  I know that I am traveling with him on this last part of his road on earth, realizing that we don't know how short or long it will be.  I appreciate these sweet times of love and connection with him.  When I work with him I feel there is light all around us, that we are sharing our hearts.  I am so honored to have these moments with this sweet being.

Sharing Energy with Monk: Comfort, Peace, and Optimal Balance for Chronic Renal Failure, Part One

Monk is a dear cat who I initially was called to work with because he was urinating outside of the box.  I taught his owner, Suzanne, how to do some of the TTouches, and then the subsequent appointments I did with him were Reiki sessions.  He came to recognize the energy and would completely relax into it, stretching out on the bed with a look of bliss.

More recently though, he was diagnosed with chronic renal failure.  I had not seen Monk for quite a while, and Suzanne had called me to cat sit for Monk and his cat girlfriend Jade, and when I saw Monk, I felt so strongly that I wanted to help.  I could see that Monk’s appetite and life force was rapidly diminishing.  I had such a strong sense that the work would be of help to him now, not to mention that I have a very strong bond with Monk - and I felt that sessions should be as often as every day at first, so Suzanne and I worked out an arrangement for that to happen without placing a financial burden on her, as she was out of work. 

Monk has taken to basically living outside on Suzanne’s terrace, resting in the plant boxes, and sometimes stretching out on the deck.  Unfortunately, for the first appointment, it was raining, so we had to bring him inside.  Though he was resisting being inside, I did feel him absorbing the energy, and I knew it would be good to follow up with another appointment soon, when I could work with him out on the terrace.

A few days later I came to see him.  I sat with him outside on the terrace.  I moved a couple of times to get a bit closer to him but really let him set the pace.  I felt he wanted me to be at least 4-5 feet away, for the most part.  But at times he would come closer to me.  And I could feel him really settling into the energy again, as though he was becoming re-acquainted with the energy, and with me, gradually trusting more and more and letting me in.  Throughout the appointment, I silently sent him the message to only take as much or as little energy as he wanted, and reassured him that I was there to help him.  I kept picturing the energy as a soft white blanket that was moving over him and being absorbed into his body, and the white light moving through the inside of his body and healing his body.

Suzanne had left a handful of dry food out for Monk to eat, and at various points he wandered to it and ate it little by little.  Quite often during a Reiki session, an animal’s appetite can be stimulated.  By the end of the session, he had eaten all the dry food.  Suzanne said that was really a lot for him, as in recent days  he usually will only very reluctantly eat about four kernels of the dry food.

At various points during the session, Monk stretched out on his side, looking very comfortable.  It was a hot day, but where we were sitting, in the shade, it was really quite comfortable, and hearing the sounds of the birds, the sound of the breeze , the rustling of the leaves of the plants, it made so much sense to me that this is where he is comfortable right now.  The energy was very quiet and peaceful.  It felt a bit like a dream state.  When I heard the nearby church bells ringing on the hour, they almost seemed a bit distorted.

When I left, I kept feeling like Monk was in this curious limbo – obviously he is in very fragile condition, but he still has energy and is engaged with his surroundings and situation.  As if some greater force is giving him a bit more time, quiet time on earth, before he moves into the spirit world.

I was leaving town in two days, and wanted to go with the momentum of what was happening with him, so I went the next day for another appointment.  This time, he came right to me, wanting affection, so I did some gentle TTouches with him.  At various points during the Reiki session, he would come to me, rubbing his face against my hand.  This time, he settled even more into the energy, and wanted me to be closer to him to send the energy, though not directly hands-on.  Especially with animals who are in frail condition, it is usually most beneficial to send Reiki with your hands at least a bit off of the body, as it can be too overwhelming. 

This time, Monk ate even more of the food than he had the day before.  And Suzanne had said that after the appointment the day before, he had eaten more food.  So this was really a shift.

Again, I kept picturing the white light energy moving through his body, soothing and healing.  Recently I have been incorporating the essences of colors into the Reiki work that I do.  Sometimes I will purposely send a specific color with a certain intention, but sometimes a color will come to me, though I may not be sure of the why of it.

Monk seemed to be more comfortable in his body this time, and there even seemed to be more life in his eyes. 

At the end of the session, he was laying near me, on his side, doing the cute thing of having a paw partway over one eye.  I felt so much love passing back and forth, such an energy of pure love, healing and love.  Reiki feels that way, an energy filled with light and love that strengthens and expands as the animal becomes comfortable with you and trusts you.

Since I returned from town, his energy and appetite has improved even more, and I will tell you more about that in the next posting!!